How I Learned to Stop Avoiding Phone Calls (And Why Alexander Graham Bell Almost Ruined My Life)

Hey everyone! So after my last post about managing stuttering when you’re nervous, I decided to share more specific stories. This one is all about my long history of avoiding phone calls. Well, buckle up because this one’s a wild ride from absolutely despising phones to… well, let’s just say the ending might surprise you!

I used to have this relationship with phones that I can only describe as pure hatred. Like, if I could have travelled back in time and convinced Alexander Graham Bell to stick with teaching the deaf instead of inventing that cursed piece of machinery that transmits vocal sounds, I absolutely would have. That thing was my nemesis.

Let me paint you a picture of how bad my phone anxiety got. When our landline would ring at home and no one else was around to answer it, I would literally freeze. My heart would start racing, palms would get sweaty, and I’d stare at that ringing phone like it was about to explode.

The worst part? When I finally forced myself to answer, instead of a normal “hello,” what came out was this very abrupt “YES?” because I would block on the “h” sound. I sounded angry or rude when really I was just terrified and trying to get any sound out at all. Talk about embarrassing stuttering moments, I probably confused so many telemarketers!

Calling anyone who wasn’t a close friend was absolutely out of the question. Strangers? Forget about it. Anyone who felt intimidating in any way? Not happening. I would go to ridiculous lengths to avoid making calls. Need to order pizza? I’d drag a friend along to call for me. Doctor’s appointment? I’d show up in person instead of calling. It was exhausting.

But here’s the thing about anticipatory anxiety stuttering the more you avoid something, the scarier it becomes in your head. Every time I avoided a phone call, I was basically telling my brain “yes, this is definitely dangerous and we should be afraid of it.”

There came a point where I just had enough. I was unemployed, living on benefits, and honestly? I hated my stutter. Hating myself was part of it too. Everything just SUCKED with a capital everything. I remember thinking “stuttering is ruining my life” and feeling like I couldn’t get a job because of my stutter.

But sometimes rock bottom gives you the solid foundation you need to rebuild, right? I realized I had two choices: stay in this miserable cycle or feel the fear and do it anyway. So I decided it was time to take a chance.

Now here’s where the story gets interesting and by interesting, I mean completely insane. I applied for a job in a call center. Yes, you read that right. The person who used to hide from phone calls decided to get a job where talking on the phone was literally the entire job description.

I had to tell my line managers about my stutter during the interview process. I’ll never forget their faces, it was written all over them like “WTF why are you here?” But they played it cool and said “that’s okay.” Looking back, I think they were probably wondering how to stop stuttering when nervous, just like I was!

Did I have a strategy? Absolutely not. I just went for it and hoped for the best. My first day was like jumping into the deep end when you can barely swim. I think I mentally blacked out through most of it. My comfort zone wasn’t just stretched it was launched into another galaxy.

Of course, it wasn’t all smooth sailing. The worst part was getting quality checked! That’s when a team leader from another area would come sit with you and plug in and listen and observe your calls. The moment I knew they were listening, the walls would start closing in on me. The stutter and anxiety would fuse into this horrible, confidence-sucking monster.

I remember finishing one particularly bad call during a quality check and just losing it. I went to the chill room and sobbed like my life was over. Feeling so deflated and convinced I was about to lose this job too. When my line manager came in to check on me, it made everything worse. I was blubbering about how I was going to lose my job and what an idiot I was, with tears and snot everywhere. Not my finest moment!

But here’s what surprised me most about the whole process they offered something called EAP (Employee Assistance Program). It was three face-to-face sessions with a psychologist, and honestly, it helped rebuild my confidence. I can’t go into all the details now (saving that for another story!), but it really put things into perspective for me.

Slowly, something incredible started happening. Instead of just surviving phone calls, I began actually connecting with the people on the other end. I started realizing I was genuinely helping them solve their problems. There was this one call that really stuck with me a lady going through a divorce who was having issues with her account. After I helped her sort everything out, she said, “Thank you, you’ve been so helpful and caring.”

I’m getting emotional just writing about it now (happy trigger! lol). That moment was when everything clicked. I wasn’t just some person with a speech impediment trying to get through the day… I was actually making a difference in people’s lives.

These days, I handle phone calls completely differently. At work, I just pick up and say hello like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I can even say my name too. Yes, I still stumble sometimes. Yes, I still throw in the occasional “um.” But you know what? That’s okay.

Outside of work though? Come on, who actually answers their phone anymore? It’s all about texting nowadays! (Just kidding… sort of.)

The crazy thing is that working in that call center completely turned my relationship with speaking around. I went from someone who thought “I hate my stutter” every single day to someone who uses their voice to help others. I’m not saying it was easy, and I’m definitely not saying everyone should go get a job in a call center to overcome their phone fear!

But sometimes the thing that scares you most is exactly the thing you need to face head-on. My anticipatory anxiety and years of avoiding phone calls was so much worse than the actual calls themselves. Most people on the other end were patient, understanding, or too busy with their own problems to judge how I sounded.

If you’re reading this and avoiding phone calls because of your stutter, I get it. I really, really get it. But here’s what I learned: the fear is always worse than the reality. People are generally more understanding than we give them credit for. And sometimes, the thing that feels like it’s ruining your life can actually become the thing that saves it.

I’m not saying you need to go work in a call center (please, learn from my extreme approach!), but maybe start small. Call a friend. Order that pizza yourself. Practice with low-stakes conversations where it doesn’t matter if you stutter.

Your voice has value. Your thoughts matter. And yes, even with a stutter, you can connect with people in meaningful ways. Trust me on this one if I can go from hiding from the phone to thriving on calls, there’s hope for all of us.

What about you? What’s your biggest phone call fear? Have you ever avoided a phone call for weeks? What finally made you pick up? We’d love to hear your stories – feel free to Contact Us and we’re happy to make space for your story and your journey. Who knows? You might help another person who stutters feel comfortable to be the person they want to be.